S0-004 The Nexus of She'Bae
The Nexus of She'Bae is the fourth episode of season zero of Queens of Adventure. In it, the queens seek out a mystical market place to hawk some loot and level-up. Synopsis After their adventure at LaBouche Gardens, the party recuperates at the Tavern of the Hung Man with their boxes of Trixie LaBouche merchandise. Their new ally, Gnomi, provides their driver, Copper Top, with directions to the Nexus of She'Bae. The six of them head out the next day for the market. The path takes them through a dappled sunlit forest. Gnomi, recently hired as their researcher into the legendary drag houses, warns them that the rules of the market they're going to are no magic, no fighting. While they are going to sell their merchandise, he says they may find other things as well. The path dead ends at a boulder. A gnome nearby fishing responds to Copper Top's password "Hocus Pocus, little guy" and a portal opens on the boulder. They arrive in a bustling marketplace with creatures of all different shapes and sizes. Gnomi has been here before and tells some nearby dwarves to haul their merchandise to the auction house before he leaves to find his contacts to research his leads on the next treasure. A man with a top hat greets them and asks what they brought and is surprised to hear it is Trixie LaBouche merchandise as they haven't heard anything from Lady LaBouche in ages, and believed she vanished. Arson reveals she is dead, but Harlotte consoles that only means the value will skyrocket. He laughs through his stated grief and takes them into the auction house. When it is time for their item to be auctioned, he asks them to say a few words. One of the bidders is a woman seated next to Ramshackle, Harlotte's friend from the courts of Sknorf, who wins the auction with a 3000 gold bid. The Auctioneer delivers their money and encourages them to come back. With their gold, the group goes shopping. They discuss many incredible and strange artifacts, and debate the benefits of summoning real but uncontrollable rats versus creating controllable but illusory rats. They settle on Castanets of Illusions, Perfume of Bewitching, and a Tentacle Rod, plus some cheaper items. As the group continues to wander, Fraya bumps into a water genasi with wavy blue hair and a one piece bathing suit. It's Estuary, a friend of Fraya's from back home she hadn't seen since her birthday. Fraya notes that Estuary has lost a lot of weight. Estuary asked if she had heard the news. The temple has been having trouble controlling the rising tides. If they can't control it soon, the waves might swallow the city up. Estuary counsels Fraya to visit home soon and hands her a conch shell to remember home by. The phrase 'Life's a beach' is painted on the side. Listening to it, Fraya's memories flood back of Oceanica, triggering some of her powers to restore, including gust of wind, shatter, ''and ''ice knife. '' Butylene is on the lookout for alchemy tools and finds a stall and a familiar face browsing it: Granny. She directs Butylene to a set of tools bearing the mark of her mentor, although Butylene denies the connection. Some of the tools allow creation of unique poisons, others allow an alchemist to share potions with others, and all, Granny notes, are going for less than they are worth. They agree to work together to bargain with the shopkeeper for a deal. Butylene flirts, admiring his leopard-print sweater. After learning he knit the sweater, Butlyene offers to make him a dropcrotch pair of deerskin overalls, earning a two-for one deal. Granny encourages Butylene to keep a look out for the man who made those tools, tells her friend she now owes Granny two favors, and calls her cats to depart with her. Turning a corner, they find a hot tub display. Only Arson can see her patron, Samantha, nude except a fur stole, with a cocktail. Samantha invites Arson to join her, as the world around the hot tub fades away, and asks why Arson is traveling the world. The drow explains it is for nudes, for the attention her parents didn't give her, and because she is chaotic neutral and likes watching things go nuts, although she hasn't gotten the full attention she craves yet. The patron offers Arson a pact gift, and Arson chose pact of the blade, providing her a summonable weapon. She also granted Arson the spell ''cloud of daggers' '''before departing making a cryptic comment, "Arson Nicki, Queen of the Underdark. Just thought I'd say it outloud. Has a nice ring to it". Arson rejoins the party. In another aisle, they spot Ramshackle and his female companion. Before Harlotte or Ramshackle can react, the woman approaches, recognizing the group as the ones who brought the merchandise she bought. Ramshackle introduces them to his wife, Belfry Ramshackle. She asks how they acquired the goods, and Harlotte played coy, but Belfry asked if they had found any other relics of the Lost Houses. They deny knowledge, let alone their destruction of House Wunderbred, or their leads. To throw her off the trail, Harlotte offers to sell a container of cold cream that she claimed came from Edith Wunderbred, when it actually does cold damage. With impressive deception rolls, she convinces her, and gets a high price from Belfry. Before she leaves, Belfry asks if she might call upon them again to procure such items in the future. The queens are evasive but say she can find them at the Tavern of the Hung Man. Reflecting on her moving on from Ramshackle and her past causes Harlotte to gain some new magical powers. Gnomi finds them, saying he knows where another treasure is, but it is in a locked vault. The key to the vault is a scepter, which is a prize for a talent show: The Search for the Tops, happening in a few weeks. He can enter them, but they need a name for their act. They settle on Booty and the Hofish before departing. As the group begins to head out on their journey, the group comes to a bridge over a stream. On the other side, a large man steps into the road. Behind them, a man in robes with a crystal ball blocks the way they came. A third man with a bow and arrow steps out of some bushes. They demand their goods, and combat begins. Butylene bites one. Fraya throws water to knock one off balance. One of the thugs has their clothing sliced off. Arson fires off some ''eldritch blasts with finger guns, killing a bandit. Another bandit is knocked into the river, leaving the mage thug who summons a cloud of fists. Butylene knocks him out, defeating them. Gnomi emerges from hiding, noticing that the mage thug's spirit weapon was fists, which he didn't think was a good sign, but didn't explain. He wondered if someone had tipped the bandits off that the queens had bought powerful artifacts, and encouraged them to make good time towards the mountains where their next show would be. Characters Party * Arson Nicki - drow warlock * Butylene O'Kipple - tiefling alchemist * Fraya Love - water genasi cleric * Harlotte O'Scara - human rogue NPcs * Gnomi Malone * Copper Top * Auctioneer (Debut) * Ramshackle * Belfry Ramshackle (Debut) * Estuary (Debut) * Granny * Alchemy shopkeeper (Debut) Monsters/Enemies * Thugs (fighter, mage, and archer) Episode Notes Looks * Fraya: Fringe * Harlotte: Something billowy and gossamer. Scarves that flow in the breeze, occassionally snagging on branches, tearing off a trail of pieces, some of which squirrels begin to wear. * Arson: Matching sweater cape and leggings, ugg boots and coffee cozy. * Butylene: An emerald green blouse under homemade deer skin overalls. Memorable Quotes * "I needed to speak to the manager immediately and I got what I wanted and a five dollar gift card." - Arson Nicki * "What kind of Willy Wonka roller coaster nonsense did we just fall out of?" - Fraya Love * "Did you just DnD a roadrunner cartoon?" - DM Matt * "Water Genasi are known for their menstrual strikals" * "Arson is turning the party slowing into this Cthulhu bondage group" - DM Matt * "Do you know nothing about borrowing your drag mother's lashes for luck? Or using her cold cream as she did? Do you not want to take any power or influence from the ancient House of Wunderbred?" - Harlotte O'Scara * "How do you spell *carnivale horn noise*? - Butylene O'Kipple * "I may not know my flowers, but I know a bitch when I see one." - Arson Nicki * "Roll your damage, heather!" - DM Matt References * Starbucks * "I Want to Talk to Your Manager" Hair * Willy Wonka * Diagon Alley from Harry potter * Amazon Prime * Wigs.com * Bitcoin * Gandolf * Provincetown (P-Town) * Audrey Hepburn * Paypal * "Charlie Sheen/Ben Vereen/Shrink to the size/of a Lima Bean!" - spell from Pinky and the Brain * David Bowie * X-Men * Suzanne Summers * Hootie and the Blowfish * Nomi Malone from Showgirls Please Welcome to the Stage * Misty Step * Suzanne Summers or Sues and Summers Name That Tune * "Oh my god, shoes" * "Coat of Many Colors" - Dolly Parton * "Rolling Down the River" * Final Fantasy end battle theme Behind the Queens * This episode was recorded on December 3rd, 2017, shortly before the 3rd live show. * Preemptive retroactive continuity thing: Throughout the episode they call the location the Nexus of eBay, but after recording the decision was made to rename it the Nexus of She'Bae. We will be honoring the new name throughout the wiki. * This is the first episode that no inspiration is awarded to anyone. * Combat was summarized again for the sake of smoothing out the battle learning curve. * During combat, the wizard's spirit weapon took the form of a fist. This may connect him to the Raiders of the Dry Fist the group previously encountered, or possibly the Army of the Fist from Elbowdeep. * The group references David Bowie, who would later be revealed to be a deity in this world. * The queens finally realize their gnome's full name is Gnomi Malone. * In the closing outro, DM Matt references the recent Drag-Con recorded episode, and upcoming San Francisco shows. Category:Episodes Category:Season Zero